Growing up, my dreams were increasingly haunted by demonic entities. The carefree spirit of my youth had waned, and I found myself unable to return to that once joyful state. In these nightmares, a paralyzing dread would grip me, rendering me feeble and uncertain. Mornings often began with me feeling drained and devoid of life.
The dreams typically unfolded in similar settings, albeit with varying details. I saw bodiless demonic entities weaving through crowds, thriving on human negativity. Some latched onto unsuspecting individuals, spurring a surge of destructive thoughts and emotions from which these entities fed. Aware of my ability to see them, they targeted me with loathing and fury. Their intense animosity was always shocking. If they passed through my 'body,' a chilling weakness would overcome me. My only recourse was to force myself awake, though the dreams would resume if I dared to sleep again.
Around the ages of 15 to 16, after immersing myself in the Gospel, I began to utter prayers during these attacks and found that I could manipulate the course of my dreams. It was then that I recognized the profound strength of prayer. Reciting any Christian prayer caused the demonic figures to vanish. Even Christian symbols agitated them. The power of prayer and the sign of the cross brought temporary respite, allowing me to awaken, but I often had to continue praying for a considerable time. I would recite the entirety of my prayer book until the atmosphere in my room felt cleansed and secure for sleep.
These encounters persisted for nearly two decades, during which I grew intimately familiar with the nature and hierarchy of these beings. Just as our world has simpler organisms like bacteria and viruses, and more complex ones like mammals and humans, so it is with demons. The lesser ones often dwell within human auras, sapping energy and sometimes inducing illness. Then there are the formidable dark souls, intelligent and mighty. A lone individual stands little chance against their manipulative force—they can mentally devastate a person. I hesitate to delve further into this topic for now, but I will say this: even these formidable beings are rendered impotent against the divine energy of Christ Himself.
To put it plainly, humans are not the apex of the food chain. There exist entities that prey on us, feeding off our energy. Emotions and thoughts, as forms of energy, are never wasted; they always serve a purpose. Everything, in essence, becomes sustenance for something else. Beyond our sensory limits lies a veiled world where we are not hunters, but the hunted.
These revelations brought me closer to Christ. I developed a profound appreciation for the power of prayer and positive thinking. If malevolent entities thrive on negativity, then surely positive energy is the sustenance of higher, benevolent forces. This positive energy, channeled through our prayers and good deeds, must be important for the best connection with them..
I then decided to make Christ a part of my life. I began sharing all the positive experiences I had with Him in my thoughts, sending Him this joy as bright energy. I resolved to dedicate all the good in my life to Him.Whether it was the beauty of nature or the thrill of skiing, I invited Him to experience these pleasures through me. The wonder of nature, the sweetest sounds, and the scents of spring and fresh grass—these were no longer mine alone but shared with Him in spirit. The simple joy of my daughter's first tooth clicking against a spoon was not just my delight but a shared celebration with Him.
I would often reach out with these words:
- See through my eyes, hear through my ears, feel with my heart... Take this light from my heart and let it shine in the darkness.
All this unfolded within the realm of my imagination. I never truly believed that Christ could hear me; I thought my actions were solely for personal fulfillment since communicating with Him always brought me joy. It felt like I was bridging a gap in my life, despite the connection seemingly being one-sided. I refrained from burdening Him with my troubles, aware of the immense negativity that was already reaching Him through the prayers of countless people, many of whom were lamenting their problems and pleading for help. I don't know why, but I believed that by allowing Him to experience beauty and joy through me, I could somehow protect Him from this onslaught of negativity. Was I merely being naive in thinking this way?
Years later, beset by illness and weighed down by medication, the time came when I was slumped on a couch, weary from constant sickness, and I would unexpectedly hear Jesus’s words:
- Now it’s your turn to see through my eyes and feel with my heart!
In a moment, clarity illuminated my mind. Nothing in my surroundings altered, yet my perception transformed. I could appreciate the elegance with which the sunlight danced across the furniture and the reflections on the floor. I was struck by the realization that nothing was more beautiful than this very room and its array of colors. As I gazed around, every object, whether living or not, seemed infused with consciousness. Looking at the plants, I could perceive the life force pulsating within them. I recognized their uniqueness, and my affection for them deepened as if they were dear friends. My son was playing in the room at the time. How could I possibly convey or describe the unearthly beauty that surrounded me and the profound happiness that filled me? Alas, this state was fleeting, but it is an experience that I would carry with me for a lifetime.